A gift of a conversation
80+ questions to ask your parents and grandparents
The stories that matter most rarely come up on their own. Someone has to ask. Here is a big, organized list of questions about a whole life, from a first memory to the wisdom they most want to pass on. Ask a few at Sunday dinner, or let them answer in their own time.
Prefer to have these asked for you?
Family Diary is an app that asks a parent or grandparent one gentle question a day and turns their spoken answer into a beautifully written life story, organized into chapters, that the whole family can read and keep forever. You do not have to remember to ask, and they do not have to write a thing.
Childhood
Where the whole story begins, the small everyday details that vanish if no one asks.
- Where were you born, and what was the home like?
- What is your very first memory?
- What did your bedroom look like when you were small?
- What games did you play, and with whom?
- What did a normal school day look like for you?
- What were you afraid of as a child?
- What is a smell or sound that takes you straight back to being little?
- Who was your best friend, and what did you do together?
- What was your favorite meal growing up, and who made it?
- What did you want to be when you grew up?
- What is a time you got in trouble that you can laugh about now?
- What was the world like then that kids today would never believe?
Family roots
The people and places you came from, and the stories that got passed down.
- What were your parents like, and what did they do?
- What do you know about your grandparents and where the family came from?
- Is there a family story that got told again and again?
- What traditions did your family keep?
- Who in the family were you closest to, and why?
- What did family gatherings look and sound like?
- Was there a black sheep, a hero, or a character everyone talked about?
- What language, food, or custom came from the old country?
- What is something your parents taught you that you still do today?
- Is there a photograph you wish could talk? What would it say?
School years
Growing up, finding out who you were, and the teachers and friends who shaped it.
- What kind of student were you?
- Who was a teacher who made a difference, for better or worse?
- What subject did you love, and which one did you dread?
- What did you do after school and on weekends?
- What music, movies, or shows did everyone your age love?
- What did you and your friends do for fun with no money?
- What is a moment from those years you would relive?
- When did you first feel grown up?
Work and career
The jobs, the people, the lessons, and the pride of a life's work.
- What was your very first job, and what did it pay?
- How did you end up in the work you did?
- Who taught you the most about your trade or profession?
- What are you proudest of in your working life?
- What was the hardest day, and how did you get through it?
- Did you ever take a big risk at work? How did it turn out?
- What did you learn about people from your work?
- If you could give one piece of career advice, what would it be?
Love and marriage
How love found you, and what kept it going.
- How did you meet your partner?
- What was your first date like?
- When did you know it was serious?
- What was your wedding day like?
- What is the secret to making it last?
- What is a small thing your partner did that you never forgot?
- What did you argue about, and how did you make up?
- What would you tell a young couple starting out today?
Parenthood
Becoming a parent, and everything no one warns you about.
- What do you remember about the day each of your children was born?
- How did becoming a parent change you?
- What was the hardest part, and the best part?
- What did you hope for your children?
- What is a moment as a parent you will never forget?
- What did you do that your own parents did, even after swearing you wouldn't?
- What do you wish you had known earlier?
- What are you proudest of about your family?
Places and homes
The rooms, streets, and towns where a life was lived.
- What homes have you lived in, and which felt most like home?
- What did your neighborhood look like?
- Where did you travel, and which trip stayed with you?
- Is there a place you would go back to if you could?
- What has changed the most about the place you grew up?
- What was a perfect ordinary day in your favorite home?
Friends and community
The people beyond family who shaped your days.
- Who has been your longest friend, and how did you meet?
- What did you and your friends get up to?
- Were you part of a church, club, team, or group that mattered?
- Who could you always count on?
- Who is someone you lost touch with that you think about?
- What does a good friend mean to you?
Hard times
The seasons that tested you, and how you came through.
- What is the hardest thing you have lived through?
- Who or what helped you get through it?
- What did you learn about yourself in a difficult time?
- Is there a loss that changed how you see life?
- What kept you going when things were hard?
- What would you say to someone facing something similar?
Beliefs and wisdom
The things you know now that you wish you had known then.
- What do you believe about how to live a good life?
- What has brought you the most happiness?
- What would you do differently if you could?
- What are you most grateful for?
- What do you want your grandchildren to know about you?
- What is a lesson that took you a lifetime to learn?
- How do you want to be remembered?
- If you could leave one message for the family, what would it be?